December 5th, 1957

1957年12月5日

Gellert,

盖勒特，

You've hit more than one nail on the head, I'm afraid. Hammered them in, even. There is so much that I fear, in the end. And--and I do not know what. The more I think on it all, on our history—decades of it by now, startlingly enough—the more I cannot untangle myself.

你不仅是一针见血，而是针针见血。你甚至不是用针，而是用锤子。总之，我害怕的东西太多了，而且——我说不上来是为什么。那些我们的往事，我想得越多——数十年的往事，遥远得令人惊异——就越陷入自我纠结中，无法理清自己。

I first made my Pensieve, you realize, to sort through every memory I had of our time together. To look, with an objective eye, as best as I could, at who you were, what you were doing, how you were acting. To see if I should have been able to predict your actions, if I was as short-sighted and blinded to your darkness as everybody around me thought I was. So, yes, what you seek is there, well-preserved. "Yes," I said, "she might drop dead at the sight. Though of us or the blood magic, I'm not sure." I then went on with that ultimately doomed theory of mine about Transfiguration-based amplification of the latter.

当时我想要制作冥想盆，如你所知道的那样，就是想要梳理那些有关我们在一起的那些回忆。尽可能客观的去审视，你是什么样的人，做了什么样的事，做这些的事的时候你在想什么。我想知道我是否已经预料到了你的行动，还是如其他人所说，我对你黑暗的一面视而不见。所以，是的，你寻找的那行诗，就在这里完好地保存着。“是的。”我当时这样说，“她（巴沙特）看到之后一定会被当场吓死。不过我不确定究竟是因为我们，还是因为血咒。” 之后，我们就继续讨论起了我那注定要失败的，在变形术的基础上对血咒做出的改进。

I am sorry for the delay. It was a little thing, and fair to ask. But—no, I am still inexcusably tangled.

很抱歉，回信有点晚。这是件小事，但你仍有权利过问。但是——不，我仍然无可救药的一团糟。

I must go, I am afraid.

恐怕，我必须要起身出发了。

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